


The Mixtape fic

by lostboy_jpg



Category: Gerard Way - Fandom, My Chemical Romance, thejackway
Genre: I have so many ideas for this i am frickin zazzed, I'll edit tags as i go, M/M, This is an actual thing now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 23:42:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8510263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostboy_jpg/pseuds/lostboy_jpg
Summary: 19 year old Jack meets Gerard Way by unusual circumstances, which leads to their unconventional relationship.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> *cue the drumroll* SO THIS IS OFFICIALLY A THING
> 
> I have so many ideas for this story boi you don't even know I am so frickin zazzed for this.
> 
> If you're reading this, whoever you are, I hope you enjoy the story

Jack walked by himself through the lawn to the building where his next class was. He honestly couldn't understand why he got stuck with a schedule that forced him to walk back and forth across campus at least four times throughout the day. Currently he was headed to his literature class. It was a required class, unfortunately. Jack thought it was a waste of time. 

Jack's thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating in his back pocket.

"Hey. This is Jack, right?" A new text message from an unknown number read. Jack debated whether he should reply or not.

It could be a fan, although Jack didn't have too many of those yet. He mostly played at dive bars around Baltimore, and there were only a few that were dedicated enough to go to his every performance.

It could be his friend Kalvin, or Kale as nearly everyone called him, playing a prank. But Jack got the feeling that this wasn't one of Kale's pranks. His were usually way more transparent.

Jack sent a quick reply back to the unknown number as he walked into his class. "Yeah. Who's this?"

Jack expected the person to reply straight away, but five minutes passed and nothing.

The professor entered the classroom and Jack took his usual seat right in the middle of the classroom.

All throughout class, Jack could hear the professor speaking, but he wasn't really listening. His mind was too wrapped around that unknown number and why they haven't texted back yet.

~~~~

Jack carried on with the rest of his day, finishing up class, grabbing dinner, and having a jam session with his friends. They were almost a band, that is, if they could ever concentrate for long enough to practice a song without it going to shit. 

Jack didn't mind though. He preferred being a solo artist. Bands caused too much drama and bands always broke up.

Jack's friends had just left his dorm room, so he took to putting away his bass and cleaning some of the mess they always seemed to leave behind.

That is, until he noticed his phone ring and light up from the windowsill where he had set it.

A new message from the unknown number.

"Glad I have the right number."

Still, no clue as to who was behind the unknown number.

"Do you?" Jack replied, thumbs tapping quickly across the keyboard.

They started typing back almost immediately. "I'm pretty sure. If this is Jack.."

"Yeah but who is this?" Jack asked again.

"It's Gerard Way. I'm glad I didn't have the wrong number because that would be awkward."

Jack stared at his phone, his heart skipping a beat. There's no way. Gerard Way, as in My Chemical Romance. As in Jack's favorite band. Gerard Way, texting Jack.

Of course there was still the possibility that it was a big joke by one of Jack's friends. But somehow, it didn't seem like it. Maybe Jack wanted it to be true so badly that he refused to believe that it was a prank.

"Um how did you get my number??" Jack asked

"I found a wallet left at a diner last night and it had your name and number in it. I'm assuming you want it back?" Jack was pretty sure he hadn't lost his wallet. But...

He picked up the pair of pants he wore last night and checked the pockets. Sure enough, no wallet.

Jack tried to recall last night's events. He remembered going over to his friend Alex's house last night. He didn't go over planning to get high, but Alex offered and Jack usually wasn't one to say no. Jack remembered he and Alex going to the diner to get food afterwards, but Jack couldn't have been that out of it that he forgot his wallet.

"Yeah it'd probably be a good idea if I got that back." Jack replied. Now he just felt dumb. Honestly, of all the billions of people on the planet, Gerard Fucking Way had to be the one to find Jack's misplaced wallet.

A reply from Gerard came quickly. "Is there somewhere you can meet me?" 

Jack bit his bottom lip. Should he say yes? For all he knew, this could be some crazy psychopath luring him into a trap so they could slit his throat and use his blood as paint or something freaky like that.

 

Jack was still debating if he should reply with a definite yes or no answer when another message came through.

"Tell ya what. I'll be at the diner at 9:00. If you decided to show up, I can give you back your wallet."

Jack turned off his phone, he needed a moment to process all of this. Should he stay, or should he go? More importantly, what do you wear when you're going to meet your idol at a sketchy diner at night?


	2. Track 1: For Baltimore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is like 2 days overdue from when I said I would post it, but I was going through some things and life just got in the way, but better late than never.

Jack was somewhat confident in his outfit choice. He had paired black jeans with a pullover sweatshirt. He hoped he made the right choice. Jack took a deep breath as he left his room and headed downstairs to the city's nightlife.

It was only a few blocks to the diner, so Jack didn't think it'd be worth it to drive and then have to find a parking spot. Plus it would give him some time to calm his nerves.

In Jack's mind it could go one of two ways. He would freak out too much and it would be sufficiently awkward, or Jack would somehow manage to keep calm and they might even become friends or something. Jack hoped he didn't screw this up.

Jack rounded the corner and spotted the diner at the end of the street. He stuck his hands in his pants pockets as he approached the dinner.

Jack entered and naturally walked towards the back where all the booths were located. That was where he and his friends usually sat.

He almost walked past the booth with one man sitting in it, his back to Jack.

Jack approached him. "Hey, Gerard?"

Gerard stood up in the booth, looking a bit surprised. "Hey. Jack, right?"

"Yeah." Jack smiled.

"Have a seat." Gerard gestured to the seat across from him. Jack accepted and they both sat down.

"First, I'm sure you want this back." Gerard pulled the wallet out of his pocket and slid it across the table.

"Thank you." Jack stuck his wallet in his pocket this time. "Most people wouldn't have been so nice as to return it."

"No big deal." Gerard brushed it off.

"Are you hungry?" Jack asked, unsure of how long Gerard had been sitting here waiting.

"Ah a little. But it's fine, if you have other places you have to be."

"Nah. Not tonight. Let me buy you dinner. It's the least I can do." Jack offered.

"I guess if you put it that way..." Gerard mirrored Jack's smile.

~~~~

"So what brought you to Brooklyn?" Jack asked easily. They had been sitting in the same booth for almost two hours now, talking as if they were old friends just catching up.

"I'm not sure exactly." Gerard played absentmindedly with a straw wrapper. "I think I was just looking for a change. Or maybe some inspiration. I was getting bored of the same old routine."

Gerard paused, and Jack waited patently for him to finish. 

"I don't know. It sounds kinda cliché now that I say it out loud." Gerard laughed it off, running a hand through his hair.

"No. I think I understand." Jack assured, taking a sip of his Coke before continuing. "That's kind of why I left Maryland. I mean don't get me wrong it will always be home, but I just felt sort of suffocated there."

"So my question is why Brooklyn?" Gerard countered.

"Well it was close enough to home, yet still big enough to get lost in the crowd."

"So you mentioned you want to be a musician, but you want to get lost in the crowd?" 

Jack laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess when you put it that way. It's kind of ironic. But it works for me."

"Just remember Jack, you can't always have your cake and eat it too." 

Jack wondered if Gerard meant that as a warning.

"You can if you want it badly enough." Jack smiled and so did Gerard.

~~~~

"So how much longer are you going to be in town?" Jack asked Gerard. They were stood outside the diner, neither one wanting to be the first to walk away.

"I'm not sure. As long as I continue to feel at ease here I guess." Gerard shrugged.

"Well, if you ever need someone to show you around, you know who to ask." Jack offered, mentally refusing to let this be their first and last encounter.

"I'll remember that." Gerard smiled. "And listen, if you ever need anything, you have my number."

"Right. Yeah." Jack nodded. Neither one knew what to say next. But neither wanted this night to end.

"So I guess I'll see you around?" Jack offered meekly.

"Yeah. For sure. It was really nice meeting you."

Jack's heart must have skipped a beat, because he felt he was fumbling over every word. "Yeah. You too." Jack turned and started walking back towards campus. He had so much to think about.


	3. Track 2: I Can Feel It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda happy with the way this turned out for once? Also there is a playlist that goes with this fic if you're curious to know the songs that inspired each chapter. Just copy this link:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/xxoshelby/playlist/7J2uBNR16TR7944sPDl5h1

Jack woke to the next morning, and it took him a minute before he remembered the night before. He still wasn't completely convinced that had happened in real life. He had actually met Gerard Way. Gerard, whom he had looked up to so much since he was younger. Gerard, who had been such a constant through all of Jack's ups and downs through his music.

Jack smiled to himself. Sometimes life was absolutely crazy. He pulled his phone from his beside table to check his notifications, like he usually did first thing after waking up in the mornings.

He was surprised to see he had a new message from Gerard, from two o'clock in the morning.

*Hey. I just wanted to say again how nice it was to meet you tonight. I was kind of surprised by you. Either way, I hope we can stay in touch. I'd really like to see you again.*

So it actually happened. He wasn't dreaming this whole time after all. Jack smiled as he reread the message over and over again. He decided to type out a quick reply.

*Sorry I was asleep when you sent this. But I'd like to stay in touch too. We should definitely stay in touch*

Jack put his phone down and started getting ready for the day. He consciously listened for his phone to go off all the while, but it never did. Maybe it was for the best. Jack didn't think he was emotionally prepared for a reply yet. What if Gerard had changed his mind?

Jack tried to push the thought to the back of his mind as he finished getting dressed for class.

~~~~

Jack anxiously awaited a reply all day, checking his phone constantly. He tried reasoning with himself as to why he hasn't gotten a response yet. Maybe Gerard was still sleeping. Or he was probably busy doing something really important. Either way, he wasn't texting Jack.

Until, right in the middle of Musical History, he was.

The professor was giving a lecture to the class when Jack's phone rang very loudly. It seemed as if the whole class had it's eyes on Jack as he silenced his phone.

*Hey what are you doing tonight?*

Jack was a bit taken aback. He wasn't expecting such a sudden invitation.

*Absolutely nothing* Jack bit his lip to contain his grin as he hit send.

*Meet me at the diner again at 9*

Jack definitely couldn't contain his smile at this point. He wondered where Gerard was getting at with this.

*See you at 9*

~~~~

It was 9:07 and Jack was just approaching the diner. Sure enough, Gerard was waiting outside, leaning against the brick building. 

God he looked like such a model and he wasn't even trying. It was so frustrating to Jack.

"Hey." Jack stood next to Gerard.

"Oh hey!" Gerard smiled warmly upon seeing Jack. 

"So what's the plan for tonight? Did you have something planned or..?" Jack trailed off.

"Well I thought you could show me around the city, like you promised."

"Well I know a few places." Jack offered meekly. "To be honest, I'm still learning my way around here."

"Huh." Gerard contemplated. "Then I guess we can do some city exploring together. C'mon." Gerard turned and stared walking, and Jack rushed to keep up.

~~~~

"But you can't just do that!" Jack laughed, intensely invested in a story Gerard was telling as they walked the streets of Brooklyn together.

"Why not?" Gerard challenged, raising his eyebrows.

"Because! It just doesn't work that way!" Jack answered immaturely.

"Well I beg to differ." Gerard stated, but Jack could see the corners of his mouth tugging into a smile.

"Hey what's going on up there?" Jack motioned to a bustling crowd in front of a building.

"I dunno. Lets go check it out." Gerard led the way.

The boys approached the scene and found out the crowd was people spilling out of a nightclub. There was no bouncer to be seen keeping order on who was coming and going.

Gerard smiled a mischievous grin. "Let's go inside." He grabbed Jack by the arm and pulled him along inside.

Inside the music was so loud Jack could feel it vibrating throughout his whole body. That was the first thing he noticed. The club was illuminated with dim blue-violet lights, strobing to the beat of the music. People were literally everywhere, making it hard for Jack to stick with Gerard. Jack hoped Gerard didn't let go of his hand.

Jack found he was being led to the bar before he realized it. He took in the entire scene of the place as Gerard ordered them drinks.

Gerard turned to Jack and handed him a drink, and said something that Jack didn't quite catch over the loud music.

"WHAT?!" Jack had to shout in order to be heard.

Gerard leaned in but still had to shout, "WHAT DO YOU THINK?"

"I THINK IT'S PRETTY COOL!" Jack shouted back with a smile, taking a big sip of his drink.

~~~~

Four drinks later and Gerard had managed to pull Jack into the crowd near the middle of the room where everyone was dancing. 

"I don't even dance." Jack laughed, feeling giddy from the alcohol.

"Sure you can! Dance for me Jack!" Gerard pleaded, equally as drunk.

Jack took a deep breath and cleared his mind. He pushed away the thought that a boy whom he might potentially have feelings for was watching him. He listened to the beat for a moment before starting to move with it.

Jack knew in the morning he probably wouldn't remember most of tonight after this point, but in the moment, he didn't care. He felt warm and happy both from the liquor and Gerard's gaze following his every move.

Gerard placed his hand on Jack's shoulder and started to dance with him. Neither boy really knew how to dance, and they knew they probably looked ridiculous. But in this moment, they didn't care about any of that.

Jack looked up at Gerard, only to see a beautifully blissful smile on his face, which he couldn't help but mirror.

~~~~

It seemed like centuries before they managed to find their way out the back entrance and into the crisp night air. Both were sweaty from the heat of the several other bodies filling the confined nightclub and from all the dancing.

"We should do that again sometime." Jack commented, relishing the cool breeze on his skin.

"What? Get drunk and start dancing? You can't even dance sober." Gerard teased.

"You've never seen me dance sober, so I guess you'll never know."

"You still probably can't dance." Gerard was completely convinced.

"Guess you'll have to stick around and find out." Jack attempted a smirk, but ended up laughing.

Gerard joined in on the laughter, just because he could.

Jack was suddenly aware of how close they both were to one another, leaning against the cool brick building.

Gerard seemed to notice it too as he glanced down at Jack's lips.

"Jack can I kiss you?" Gerard asked, voice sounding strained.

Jack didn't trust his own voice, so he just swallowed and nodded.

Gerard leaned in and placed his lips on Jack's. The kiss was soft and sweet. Two lost people trying to find their way to each other.

Gerard pulled away and looked at Jack and tried to gauge his reaction.

Jack was flustered, and a bit surprised to say in the least.

"C'mon. Let's finish our tour of the city." Gerard took Jack's hand in his and led him out of the alleyway and back into the streets.


	4. Track 3: Here (In Your Arms)

For the next two weeks, Jack and Gerard were almost inseparable. If they weren't going out on spontaneous adventures around Brooklyn, they were hanging out at the diner. When they couldn't be together, they were always texting. As they grew closer, the boys realized that they had more in common than they had both originally thought. 

It was strange to Jack that he could fall for somebody this hard so suddenly. It hadn't even been a full two weeks since they first met, and yet Jack couldn't remember what his life was like before Gerard was in it. 

He hadn't told any of his friends about Gerard yet. Jack was mostly just scared about what they would say. He didn't think they would understand, or they would tell him his feelings are getting in the way of his judgment.

"Where have you been lately dude?" Jack's friend Kale asked one night when they were hanging out at his apartment.

"I've been around!" Jack defended.

Kale rolled his eyes. "Yeah sure. I'm just saying, I haven't seen you lately."

"I've just been busy with classes and stuff. I don't know." Jack played with his frayed shoelaces, not wanting to look up at Kale.

"Stuff." Kale repeated, taking a drink from his bottle of Mountain Dew.

"Yeah. Stuff." Jack couldn't contain the small smile creeping onto his face, as hard as he tried.

"Is there a girl involved?" Kale teased.

Jack just shook his head.

"A guy then?" 

Jack couldn't help but smile wider at the thought of him.

"It is! Who is he? Do I know him?" Kale asked.

"I guess. Kind of." Jack shrugged.

"What do you mean kind of?" Kale scoffed.

"It's nothing." Jack dismissed.

Kale pouted "Jack I'm your best friend. You can't even tell me?" 

"How's the YouTube thing coming?" Jack changed the subject.

For once in his life, Kale took the hint and left the subject alone. "It's going really well. I'm so close to 2.5 million subscribers."

Kale had dropped out of college when his YouTube career first started taking off, even though lots of people advised against it. But things seemed to be going really well for Kale, so Jack was happy for him.

For the rest of the night, the conversation about Gerard wasn't brought back up, and Jack was thankful, but also felt slightly guilty. Why couldn't he bring himself to tell his best friend?

~~~~

*What are you doing?* Jack's phone lit up with a message from Gerard. It was after 9:00 that same night, and Jack had just gotten back from Kale's apartment.

*I just got in. What's up?* Jack shot back.

*Do you feel like hanging out tonight?*

Jack had to admit, he was a little surprised at the forward request. *Yeah sure, I'm down.*

The only thing Gerard texted back was an address and a hotel room number. Jack was even more surprised. As much as they had been hanging out recently, they hadn't been over to each other's places yet.

Jack shrugged his coat back on and headed back out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was kind of short and sort of a transition chapter. I'm planning on extending this when im finally over this writers block ugh. But I hoped you liked the chapter nonetheless.


	5. Track 4: Give Me Love

Jack stood nervously in front of room 93. The hotel Gerard had directed him to was located on the western side of Brooklyn, admittedly, the run down part of Brooklyn. The hotel itself wasn't too shady looking, but it definitely wasn't where Jack expected Gerard to be staying while he spent time in Brooklyn. 

Jack summoned up all the courage he could manage and knocked on the door. He bounced on his feet as he waited for an answer.

He was greeted by a sort of disheveled looking Gerard. "Hey, is everything okay?" Jack was concerned.

Gerard just nodded and lead Jack inside the hotel room. "I just kinda didn't feel like being alone tonight." 

"Oh. Well you could've just told me that. We could've made plans." Jack was a little alarmed from the moment he got the text from Gerard.

"I guess." Gerard distractedly bit his nails. "I just, didn't feel like going out tonight."

Jack could see now that something was definitely different with Gerard. He didn't quite seem like himself, like something was missing. 

Gerard kept avoiding Jack's gaze and kept fidgeting, either with his hair or his hands. Jack wasn't sure exactly what kind if situation he was dealing with here, but he was determined to be there for Gerard if he needed him.

"Hey. It's okay. Let's sit down." Jack took Gerard's hand and sat them down on a small sofa in the corner of the room.

"What happened?" Jack asked, trying to catch Gerard's gaze. He did, only for a second, but he got an answer in that one glance.

"It's probably stupid..." Gerard trailed, looking down at his hands, which were mostly covered by his sweater sleeves.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. We're...friends." Jack hesitated at the word "friends." We're they friends? It was a weird relationship they had. They were in limbo in a place between friends and something more.

Gerard nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. Jack waited for him to continue.

"It's stupid..." Gerard repeated, shaking his head. "I just get like this sometimes. Where nothing seems to make sense and it gets hard to separate reality. And nothing really seems to matter."

Moments passed and neither said a word.

"Usually I just like to be alone while I get through these times, but a part of me wanted you here with me." Gerard looked up from his hands for Jack's reaction.

Jack took one of Gerard's hands in his own, intertwining their fingers. "I'm always here if you need me." Jack gave a half smile.

Jack could feel Gerard physically relax a bit and almost melt into him.

Nothing more was said for a while, and it didn't need to be. After a bit, Jack went around the room, turning off all of the harsh lights, leaving the room in a bluish glow from the muted television before returning to the couch where Gerard was still.

Jack sat with both feet up on the sofa, pulling Gerard to lie on his chest, wrapping him up in his arms. After too long Jack could feel warm teardrops soak through his shirt. Jack started running his fingers through Gerard's hair.

Jack considered moving them to the bed where there would be more room for the two of them to spread out, but he didn't want to cross any lines that he shouldn't. So they stayed on the couch for a bit longer, Gerard silently crying into Jack's T-shirt and Jack comforting him.

~~~~

"Thank you." It was the first thing either of them had said in a while.

Jack looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand across the room. It was already three in the morning. Jack had class in almost four hours.

"You don't have to thank me you know." Jack sighed. 

They had moved to sitting against the wall, Gerard practically sitting in Jack's lap. It was almost funny because Gerard was undeniably the taller of the two, and all night he had attached himself to Jack, not that Jack minded.

Gerard's head was resting on Jack's shoulder while Jack had his arms wrapped around him.

"Are you tired?" Gerard asked. Jack was sure he was being considerate more than anything else.

"No. I'm okay." Jack assured.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess." Gerard buried his face in Jack's shirt as he said that.

"You don't have to apologize."

Gerard looked up at Jack. His eyes were red from crying, and his hair was sticking out in all directions from nuzzling against Jack all night. "Why are you being so nice about this? You're not freaked out?"

"Should I be? And I'm being nice because that's what friends do." Jack pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

That was an okay thing for friends to do, right?

"That's bullshit and you know it." Gerard muttered, and pulled Jack's face to his, engaging him in a kiss. 

This kiss was different from the first and only time they had kissed back at the club. Holy shit this was different.

This kiss held need, frustration, broken boundaries, and about a million unanswered questions. And neither could get enough of it.

Jack pulled away first, a bit unwillingly.

"What's wrong?" Gerard asked, his anxiety creeping back up.

"Nothing." Jack bit his lip. "I just want to make sure you have clear intentions."

Gerard looked puzzled. "Jack it was just a kiss. Does it have to mean something?"

Ouch. Jack felt a wave of regret wash over him. "No, I guess not. I just want to make sure you won't do something now because you're not in the best place mentally...and regret it later."

Gerard gave a half laugh. "Jack I'm fine and it was just a kiss. That's it."

Jack felt the beginning of tears prick behind his eyes. He knew Gerard was lying. He was trying to blow it off as if it was nothing, but Jack knew that that kiss meant something to the both of them.

"Now come here," Gerard smiled and pulled Jack back into the kiss, and Jack was completely helpless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this chapter. I poured a lot into it and its only going to get better from here :)


	6. Track 5: Stupid for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bit late, but at least its here. I kinda really like where this is going for once so stay tuned

Gerard woke up in his bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The alarm clock on the bedside table told that it was a little past 1 in the afternoon. As Gerard looked around the room, he realized Jack was nowhere to be found. 

Ha. Figures. Gerard blew a puff of air out of his cheeks. He should have known that Jack would get freaked out and run away. He considered this option before he even texted Jack to come over last night. Fucking great.

Just as Gerard was about to decide to screw all of today entirely and sleep the rest of the day, there was a knock on his door. He groaned and got out of bed, walking to the other end of the room to answer it.

Much to his surprise, it was Jack at the door, holding coffee and a bag from Dunkin' Donuts. "I thought you might want breakfast. Or I guess lunch at this point." Jack walked in the room, setting the food and drinks on the entertainment stand where the TV rested.

"I hope I didn't wake you up. But I left to get food and I forgot I didn't have a room key." Jack continued, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"No. It's fine. I was pretty much awake." Gerard raked a hand through his hair, which he was sure was an absolute nightmare from the night before.

"Good. I got you coffee and there's donuts and muffins in the bag." Jack gestured to the food.

"Thanks." Gerard chuckled, mostly to himself.

"What's so funny?" Jack asked, smiling and tilting his head.

"Nothing. I just, I thought you abandoned me for sure."

"Oh." Suddenly Jack didn't find the situation funny. "You really think I'd do that?"

"I don't know." Gerard shrugged. He shouldn't have said anything. "Maybe. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened."

Jack couldn't help but feel a little hurt. He wasn't sure how Gerard managed to make him feel so ecstatic yet so wounded at the same time. He was constantly on an up and down roller coaster when he was with Gerard.

"Well you gotta give me more credit Gerard. Other people may have done you wrong, but I haven't." Jack defended. He was stupid for putting up with this, he knew that, but he couldn't leave it alone.

"Not yet." Gerard mumbled under his breath.

Did he hear nothing he had just said? 

"Stop playing the victim! There is no victim here, okay? I haven't done anything wrong and neither have you!"

"I'm sorry." Gerard seemed like he meant it, and Jack felt pretty bad for getting so worked up.

"It's fine." Jack sighed, not looking up at Gerard.

Gerard moved so he was standing in front of Jack, hands wrapped around his neck. "I don't want us to fight."

"I don't either." Jack softened.

"Good." Gerard smiled and moved so he was now straddling Jack, and leaned in for a brief kiss.

"I missed you when you were gone." Gerard offered, trying to switch the subject.

"You're cute, and way too mushy." but Jack couldn't help but match his smile.

"So what's the plan for today?" Gerard asked, jumping up with a sudden burst of energy.

"Well I already missed one of my classes this morning, so I just decided to take the rest of today off." Jack explained.

Gerard stopped bouncing on his feet and frowned. "Don't do that Jack. I don't want you missing classes because of me."

"It's okay. It's not like we were doing much of anything anyways." Jack reassured him.

Gerard took Jack's hands in his, forcing Jack to focus on him. "Promise me that you won't miss anymore classes because of me. Your schooling always comes first."

"Okay! I promise." Jack didn't know why it was such a big deal to Gerard, but he just decided to leave it alone. "Either way, we have the rest of today to do whatever." 

Gerard grabbed his coffee and took a sip, bringing Jack his and taking a seat next to him on the bed.

"What is there left to do in the city that we haven't done yet?" Gerard mused.

"We could go to the park. Have a sort of relaxed day, walking around." Jack suggested. After last night and how little sleep the both of them had managed, Jack was sure this was the best thing to do just so that they didn't spend more time cooped up in the hotel room.

"That sounds like a great plan. I'll get my coat." Gerard kissed Jack's cheek as he stood and headed for the closet at the front of the room.

Jack couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face as he watched Gerard from across the room.

~~~~

It had just snowed for the first time of the season, and the air had a sharp chill to it. The park that they had decided to walk through wasn't too busy, considering it was mid afternoon on a Tuesday. 

"Damn I hadn't realized how cold it was. I guess winter snuck up on me." white puffs formed and evaporated into the air with every word Gerard spoke.

"I know. I need more winter clothes instead of just band t-shirts." Jack admitted.

"You need band sweaters, because I personally think the band merch is a nice touch. It completes you somehow." Gerard looked to Jack and smile.

Jack was happy that Gerard seemed to be in a better place than he was at the start of last night. Although physically, his demeanor had changed completely. Jack was almost used to Gerard always needing to hold on to some part of him like a security blanket throughout the night. Since they ventured outside, Gerard hasn't so much as brushed against Jack. And okay, so maybe he wasn't big on PDA, Jack could accept that, but he still felt a stab of dejection.

"How about you? Are you going to be spending winter in Brooklyn?" Jack didn't have an idea of how long Gerard had been in the city, or how much longer he planned on staying. Judging by his temporary living situation and lack of personal belongings, he hadn't planned on staying long, and deep down, that secretly scared Jack.

"I think I might, now that I have a friend here." 

Oh. So they were back to being friends now.

Jack couldn't even respond, he was a bit stunned.

"Damn, don't look so thrilled!" Gerard jokingly shoved Jack's shoulder. "If you don't want me to stay, you could just say so."

"No, I'm happy you're staying. Really."

"Me too." Gerard took Jack's hand in his, although both their hands were frozen from the cold winter air, despite being covered by their jacket sleeves. Jack couldn't help the nagging thought that Gerard was only holding his hand now because nobody could tell under their long sleeves. Did it still count?

"If you're cold we can go inside. There's a coffee shop down the road from here." Gerard suggested, picking up on Jack's distracted behavior.

"Yeah that sounds nice." Jack admitted, and let Gerard lead the way there


	7. Track 6: Cross My Heart

Now that Jack was in the warmth of the coffee shop, he found it a bit easier to clear his head.

Gerard returned to the table with two drinks. "I got us both hot chocolate."

"Thanks." Jack smiled, wrapping his icy fingers around the warm cup.

"Anything to see that smile." Gerard winked, taking a sip of his drink.

And wow. Jack was blushing, except this time it wasn't from the cold wind.

"Are you feeling a little better? You looked pretty out of it at the park." Gerard seemed genuinely concerned.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just tired and.." Jack cut himself off, shaking his head. He shouldn't push his luck.

"And?" Gerard prompted.

"I don't know. I just feel like we should talk about things."

"Okay. What kind of things? There's lots of things we could talk about." Gerard wasn't picking up on where Jack was trying to lead the situation.

"Like what happened last night maybe?" Jack hinted, treading carefully. Somehow, he knew he was entering uncharted territory.

"Except that." Gerard took a big gulp of his drink, preventing himself from speaking further on the subject.

"Well I just want to make sure we're on the same page with things, you know?" And wow why couldn't Jack just ask him if they were friends or something more.

"Why wouldn't we be? Last night doesn't change anything." Gerard stated, very mater of fact.

And well, Jack supposed that could answer his question. They were still just friends. But then why did everything Gerard did say otherwise?

"Okay. Great. Just making sure." Jack lied, faking a smile.

"There's that smile I love again." Gerard smiled back from across the table.

~~~~

It was now one in the morning, and Jack didn't know how on earth he was still awake. He slept for maybe two hours in the past twenty four.

He had returned back to his dorm room hours ago, and he planned on catching up on the assignments he missed from not going to any of his classes today, but he couldn't get his brain to focus.

He gave up trying to write a paper for his History of Music class and decided to call Kale.

Kale thankfully, answered his phone for once. "The elusive Jack has finally come out of hiding, huh?"

"Hey Kale. Sorry. I know I've been kind of busy lately."

"It's fine," Kale dismissed. "What's up?"

"I don't know. I just need a break." Jack admitted.

"I'll be at your place in ten minutes to pick you up." With that, Kale ended the call.

Jack chuckled. That kid always had something up his sleeve.

~~~~

"You're late." Jack teased, getting into the passengers seat of Kale's car.

"Hey. Blame the traffic!" Kale defended.

"So where are we going?" Jack asked.

"Just driving." Kale pulled out of the campus lot and onto the road.

~~~~

An hour later, the boys were sat in Kale's car in an empty parking lot, slushies acquired along the way.

"So what have you really been up to, now that I hardly ever see you." Kale addressed the elephant in the room. Or rather, car.

"Ah it's complicated." Jack wasn't sure if he had the energy or clarity to explain the whole situation to someone else. At least, not when he barely understood it himself.

"Don't give me that bullshit." Kale persisted, taking a long sip from his drink.

That was one thing Jack loved about Kale. He didn't let Jack out of things like most people would.

"I kinda met this guy, but I don't even know what's going on. Its like, when we're alone, he'll give zero fucks and he'll be really sweet. But its like after a while, he will just act as if none of that ever happened." Jack explained. And wow, that sounded pretty shitty when he confessed it out loud.

"What's this guy's name?" Kale asked.

"Gerard.." Jack admitted, waiting for Kale's reaction.

"That's pretty funny! Weren't you obsessed with Gerard Way like forever ago?"

"I wouldn't say obsessed..." Jack defended.

"Wait, this is the same Gerard, right?" Kale put two and two together.

Jack didn't say anything for a moment.

"Holy shit!" Kale literally screamed. "You're literally dating your dream guy and you're sitting here moping about it? What the hell Jack?"

"I'm not moping!" Jack insisted. "And that's my problem! We're not dating! I don't know what the fuck we are! He'll act like it behind closed doors."

"Hmm..." Kale thought for a moment. "That sounds like a sucky situation to be in."

"Tell me about it." Jack raked his fingers through his hair.

"So offer him an ultimatum. Tell him he needs to stop messing around and man up!" 

Jack sighed. While that was good advice, he knew he couldn't do that. Mostly because he was too afraid of losing Gerard. Plus, after last night's episode, Jack really wanted to help him with whatever he was going through. He couldn't bear the thought of hurting him anymore.

Jack sighed and looked out the window. What was he going to do?


	8. Track 7: Strange Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter may or may not be inspired by someone's recent Instagram caption. Gold star for you if you know what I'm talking about.

After that day, things seemed to be pretty much back to normal for Gerard and Jack. Though Jack still thought it was a little strange that Gerard would rather forget the night in the hotel room. So they decided to move past it.

It had been a little over a week since that incident, and Gerard seemed to have forgotten about it completely, which Jack was learning to just let be.

They still saw each other almost every day and were still just as inseparable. As soon as Jack had finished his classes for the day, he made his way to Gerard's hotel room, which had become a sort of home base for them now.

"So what are your plans for Christmas?" Jack asked him. Christmas was about a week away, and it was surprising that it hadn't come up until now.

"I don't know," Gerard tried pushing away the topic.

"What? You don't have family you're going to visit or anything?" Now that he thought about it, Jack realized Gerard never really spoke much about his family. Or at all.

"Nah," Gerard shook his head. "My family and I don't get along too well, so I don't think that'd be the best idea. What about you?"

"I'm probably going to go back home to Maryland for Christmas. I still haven't worked out all the details." Jack responded.

"So you're close with your family then?" Gerard assumed.

"Yeah, for the most part." Jack's family wasn't perfect by any means, but at least it wasn't so bad to where he felt unwelcome at Christmas. 

"Hey, you should come home with me for Christmas." Jack nudged Gerard, excited about his new idea.

But Gerard still seemed hesitant. "I don't know... I don't want to intrude or anything."

"You won't be intruding, I promise." Jack genuinely meant it too. "Besides, I don't want you to spend Christmas all alone here."

Gerard gave a small smile. "Okay, I guess. Thank you." He leaned in to Jack.

"Hey, what are friends for?" Jack returned the smile, but still felt uneasy as the words came out of his mouth.

~~~~

Ever since both Gerard and Jack walked in the front door of Jack's home, they hadn't had a moment where they weren't bombarded by people.

Jack liked being able to see all of his family, but he could tell Gerard was getting a little overwhelmed. So they were able to sneak away for a moment to Jack's old bedroom. 

"Your family is really nice." Gerard smiled, latching on to Jack's arm and resting his head on his shoulder.

"Yeah," Jack laughed. "They can be a bit much at times."

"They don't think we're..." Gerard trailed, implying but not saying.

"No, nah." Jack dismissed. "I told them before that we're just friends."

That seemed to satisfy Gerard, as Jack felt him physically relax. "You know, I'm really happy I decided to come." Gerard placed a soft kiss on Jack's cheek. "Thanks for inviting me."

Jack couldn't help but smile. "I'm glad you came too."

Gerard moved so he was straddling Jack on the bed. "And I'm so happy that we finally have a moment alone." He started leaving a trail of kisses against Jack's neck.

"Gerard, we can't! There are like twenty people downstairs!" Jack protested, despite his body and his brain saying otherwise.

"C'mon Jack," He gripped Jack's hips. "I have a Christmas present for you."

And well, it'd be rude to say no to that.

Gerard pressed his lips fervently against Jack's as Jack wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist.

Gerard let out a small yelp as Jack started working on leaving splotches of red and blue hickeys all across his collarbones. Gerard was quickly turned into a moaning mess.

"Shhh, we gotta be quiet, remember?" Jack reminded him, to which he could only nod in response.

They were interrupted by Jack's phone going off. And again. And again and again and again.

Gerard sighed as he climbed off of Jack's lap. "That sounds kind of important."

"Sorry." Jack apologized, reaching for his phone to see what was going on.

In general, it was a lot of people from Twitter freaking out about something, but a lot of the tweets were mostly incoherent. 

Until one came along that caught Jack's eye.

It was simply a link to a news article, with Jack's username tagged in the tweet. He hesitantly clicked the link, unsure if he wanted to find out what it was.

"Forgotten MCR Frontman Gerard Way Out Of Hiding and Spotted With New Mystery Man" He read the title of the article out loud.

He turned and looked at Gerard. His face had turned pale, and he was unmoving. 

Jack scrolled through the article, which talked about after years of being seemingly missing in action, Gerard had been spotted in the Brooklyn area, with a new possible love interest.

It also cited an "inside source" that the two weren't confirmed to be dating, but they have been spending a lot of time together.

Included were a few pictures of the two of them at the park and the coffee shop almost two weeks ago

"You might want to look at this," Jack passed the phone over to Gerard.

Gerard scanned the article, not saying anything for a long moment.

"Who did you tell?" Gerard's voice was harsh, and Jack was taken aback by his reaction.

"What? What are you talking about? I never told anyone anything!" Jack defended.

"They cited an inside source. Somebody has to know something. I know I didn't tell anyone cause you're the only person I know in Brooklyn." Gerard returned Jack's phone to him, which was still going off every other second.

"Who knows, they could've made that up!" It was a plausible idea, at least to Jack.

"I don't think so." Gerard shook his head. 

Jack wracked and scanned his brain. Until it clicked. The only person he mentioned this to was Kale. But Kale wouldn't go to the media about it, right?

Jack tried calling Kale, but got stuck with his voicemail. Of course. He tried his Twitter next, seeing if he had spoken on the matter.

His most recent tweet was advertising his newest upload to his YouTube channel, nd a reminder of how close he was to two million subscribers.

Jack decided to check out the video. At first, he was convinced it was totally unrelated in the whole mess until Jack heard his name brought up in the video.

Sure enough, Kale was just being Kale, unknowing of the damage he had just done by spilling the beans about Gerard and Jack to nearly two million people.

"Jesus Christ Kale!" Jack exclaimed to no one in particular. "You can't just go around saying shit like that!"

"So you do know the inside source?" Gerard raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah. Its my best friend Kale. I'm sorry, I don't think he knew any better." Jack admitted.

"I see." Gerard stood from the bed. "I'm going to take a walk."

Jack hesitated. He was sure that Gerard definitely shouldn't be left alone right now, but he gave him the space anyways. 

He watched as Gerard left the bedroom, listened as he walked down the stairs, and felt the house shake as the front door slammed.


	9. Track 8: The Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I haven updated since last year yikes!  
> (No? Okay then)
> 
> Sorry for the slow updates, if I'm being honest it's because sometimes it's difficult to sit still and actually work on writing. But I do have a general plan on where the story will go from now on, so hopefully that means more frequent updates!

Jack rewatched the video on Kale's channel, which already had three million views. It was a seemingly harmless Q & A video, Kale being his usual bubbly self answering questions from his Instagram. Until he got one question in particular.

"When are you going to make another video with Jack?" Kale read from his phone, then proceeded to elaborate on the topic.

"You guys, if I'm being honest, I have no fucking idea when I'm making another video with Jack. I mean, I haven't even been hanging out with him a lot lately like we used to. Like this bitch finally went and found himself a man. You guys know Gerard from My Chemical Romance? Yeah, like they're not official yet, but like they're spending an awful lot of time together. Just saying!" 

Kale moved on to the next question, and Jack groaned, falling back against the bed. He couldn't believe this. 

He considered calling Kale again, but realized a second too late that maybe it wasn't the best idea, given the high emotions.

"Hey Jack! What's up?" Kale answered, for once.

"Kale, how could you?" Jack groaned, rubbing his eyes, already feeling a headache coming on from everything.

"What do you mean? What did I do?" Kale asked, not realizing the severity of the situation yet.

"Your YouTube video!" Jack exclaimed, hoping he would get the hint.

"Okay well when I told the story of when we hooked up that one time I didn't mention any names, so its all good!" Kale reassured.

"What the-?" Was he serious right now? "No Kale! I'm talking about you telling the whole world about Gerard and I!"

"Jack, it wasn't the whole world, its only two million subscribers. Well, almost. I'm hoping to hit it by Christmas." Kale excused, as if that made it better.

"Kale the video already has three million views. You might as well have told the whole world!" Jack couldn't believe him. "Now the press is eating this up, and my Twitter is going nuts! Not to mention Gerard just walked out on me in my own house!"

"Wait, holy shit! You brought him home for Christmas? And you're sure you're not dating? Does your family believe that bullshit?" Kale diverted the topic.

Jack was now pacing back and forth across his bedroom. "Kale, listen to me! And stop trying to change the subject! What you did was not okay! I told you that because you're my best friend and I thought I could trust you! But apparently not!"

"Woah. Dude, I think you need to chill out for a minute." Kale tried to diffuse the situation. "Like take some deep breaths, go for a walk, or better yet, go try to find Gerard. Then call me back when you can actually have a proper conversation." Kale hung up and the call was disconnected.

Jack rolled his eyes. Kale was always so dramatic. Most of the times it was one of the things that he loved about him. There was never a dull moment with him around. But was he seriously getting mad at Jack? 

Jack shoved his phone in his pocket and flung open his bedroom door, fleeing down the stairs and out the front door. 

He took his best guess and started heading to the left, walking through the neighborhood. 

Jack realized too late that he probably should have put on a coat. It was cold enough that he could see his breath, forming white clouds in the air, the disappearing as if they were never there to begin with.

 

Jack kept walking, trying to piece together all the different elements of this mess. They'd have to be more careful when they were out together in Brooklyn, from now on, now that the press would be paying attention. Jack didn't worry so much now that he was home, because as far as he was aware, nobody knew where they were.

He also had to be more careful what he told Kale. Well, maybe that wasn't entirely fair. He had to explicitly state to Kale what should and shouldn't be kept private. Since he had made it on YouTube, he seemed to lack that sort of filter.

What was Jack to do about Gerard? Jack wasn't sure how many more of these mood swings and emotional outburst of his that he could take. Every other day it seemed that there was some new crisis. Gerard would push Jack away, and Jack would run after him, time and time again. Then they just wouldn't talk about it. 

That's the part that killed Jack. The quiet. Acting as if everything was always okay. Like nothing had ever even happened. Tiptoeing around subjects and never addressing anything.

Jack arrived at the park located near the end of the neighborhood, and was relieved yet anxious to find Gerard sitting on one of the benches.

He took a deep breath before heading out of the frying pan and into the flames.


End file.
